Life is unpredictable. Then, it’s predictable. All in all, you just never know what is around the corner. And that’s darn hard. I am a bit of a control freak, so to not know what’s happening around me, or to not have control of what’s happening around me has been hard in the past.
We are in the process of moving. Or, at least, attempting to do so. To say the road has been bumpy, would be an understatement. It’s more like a rollercoaster, emotions and all! After another bump today, I was praying and just asking God what to do. To guide us. To help us. All that…
What did I hear?
Trust. Trust me.
Ummm…ok. Sure. That sounds great. BUT…what do you want me to trust You about? Moving in the direction we are going and trusting it will all be ok? Walking away from what we have done and trusting that it will all be ok?
trust
[truhst]
noun
1. reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence.
2. confident expectation of something; hope.
I mean, He has always provided. And for that I’m very thankful and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, He’s got our back. Yet, I’ve never had so much anxiety over a single drawn out process like this.
When you need to trust, do you just do and not think? That’s been the hard thing for me. I am totally fine believing, and trusting…yet, I feel there is something that I should be doing instead of just waiting around. I feel that movement needs to be made in one direction or another. Will another fantastic opportunity come around like this one?
At church this week the pastor shared a story about a man who gave up a TON (money, job, lifestyle), to follow and trust in Him. I was talking to Mike about this and asked, could we ever do something like that? We both looked at each other and said that we can’t say for sure. We have never been put in that situation. We have never been put in a situation like he was put in, so we can’t relate. We can’t say what we would do. I feel the message resonated deeply with me as we are experiencing a few bumps in our journey, not knowing for sure what will be our next path. We think we know, and are believing for our path to be made very clear.
So, if you need me. I’ll be over here believing that things will come. Believing we will make the right choice. Trusting that my anxiety will go away and that I will be able to take a deep breath again. I’ve been good for a bit, but it’s now started again.
Whew – that’s a lot to get off my chest.
Thanks for listening!! 😉
