Oh where do I begin! I have a huge desire to be able to breastfeed my girls. with our schedule however, we have always decided our goal was 6 months. I have made that with Lili and even longer with Adalynn. I always said I would do the same with Preslee. But OH MAN! It sure is harder with three kids! There are so many variables this time around that I didn’t have with the others. Here is a little history:
Lilianna :: She wouldn’t latch on correctly. I was ready to quit and then decided to pump. So, I pumped for approx 6 months with her and bottle fed. I didn’t know at that time about lactation consultants. Not sure why. I don’t know why my pediatrician wouldn’t have said something (maybe because she was a very mean person?) 🙂 I liked it because I was still able to feed her the good stuff! I may have gone longer, but we had a free trip Mike and I were being sent on and decided not to bring her. So, I wanted to ween her before that.
Adalynn :: Again, the latching was on and off, but the pain was EXCRUCIATING! Not sure if I am just a sissy, or if it really is that bad. In the hospital it was SO bad I would just cry and cry and cry. The lactation consultants didn’t even help. NOR did they recommend the ONE thing that I feel would have made it all better. (I believe it lactation consultants, but they sure are “Hitlerish” in their mindset. I feel that sometimes they are so firm that they turn people away from breastfeeding because they aren’t real…just my opinion). Anyways, I got home and was still having challenges and was ready to quit and then talked to my girlfriend Marie. She mentioned a breastfeeding shield. It was like 11 at night when I was talking to her and Mike went straight out to the store and got one. What a God send that was. From that point on I was able to feed her. When she was a little older I was even able to get rid of the shield. We did approx 7 months and then had another free trip we were going on. So, the weening process began 🙂
Preslee :: Same start as I had with Adalynn. I really wanted to do it without the shield. Because, let’s face it. Another step and another piece of equipment (no matter the size, it’s still one more step), I really didn’t want. But after seeing the lactation consultant, In my opinion it was the only option. Of course, she didn’t recommend it, and my nurse was peeved about it! So, she went and talked with the consultant and a different one came to talk with me. We started on a shield and all was well.
Segway for just a minute now. Before you read below, I decided to start pumping to see if Preslee was getting enough from me. She was fussy and I just didn’t know why. That party turned out to be a blessing in disguise – the pumping part. Now onto the next paragraph…
So, at home I was using the shield and all was well. Then one day I noticed this white film in Preslee’s mouth. At first I thought it was just milk. Then it didn’t go away. Thrush, awesome! Not really. Thankfully I was still using the shield and pumping here and there. If I hadn’t been, I would have got thrush too. So, it was just Preslee. She went on an anti-fungal medicine for 10 days. 10 days later she still had it. Awesome. Keep in mind, during this time I have been strictly bottle feeding because I didn’t want to get thrush as well. I heard the pain associated with that is excruciating.
Around 10 days into this, Mike talked with our friend Jamie (who is a nurse practitioner) and she said I should have been prescribed an anti-fungal as well. So, add to the delay in directly breastfeeding. So, I was prescribed that and started it immediately. Why I wasn’t prescribed that at the beginning, I dont’ know. Frustrating. But, she is better now.
Now the transition to no bottles. I went right from bottle to boob 🙂 No shield. I really wanted that to work. But, I believe it was just too much for Preslee. She would go on and off and cry and blah, blah blah. It was tough. I want to breastfeed but this is just proving to be very hard! Ugh! Keep in mind, I have a very active 2 and 5 year old that need my attention and this whole feeding process with Preslee is lasting about an hour each time…every three hours. It’s led to many conversations with Mike – what to do. Back on goes the shield and the feeding is much better now. I still don’t know if she is getting enough. That is one benefit about pumping – you know how much they are getting. I picked up some Fenugreek the other day. I used that with Adalynn as well and it seemed to work. I stopped because I felt like I was getting too much then because I was in pain again…ugh! I think I will start taking that again, just to see to help me decide what to do.
I just feel that if I try EVERYTHING, then I will know I did everything I could to make it work. I am not completely Hitlerish in my mindset that I have to continue breastfeeding. When I am feeding her a bottle in public, people still look at me like I am feeding her poison. Little do they know that it is breast milk in the bottle. People are just so judgmental and that is hard for me! Maybe that is holding me back? I don’t really know… I wonder if people will judge me in I “give up”?
So I continue to struggle. It was going great, and now she is fussing again. I have been nursing and then if she is fussy I will give her some pumped breast milk in a bottle or formula if I am out of breast milk. It’s yet another step. Is the step worth it? I feel it is, but it’s yet another step in a VERY busy and active household. I want to feel normal again and spend time having fun instead of worrying. Am I just delaying the inevitable?
Have you had any challenges similar to this?
